Am I a Martha or a Mary?

How I really reall want to say a Mary but I fear once agian I fall short.  I am just like Martha.
I fuss at my husband I fuss at my children when are not going smoothly.  This past month I have run myself ragged and non-stop that my body has just said ENOUGH! Two weeks ago I came home from work 6 hours early and slept the rest of the day Friday 3/4 the day on Saturday and 1/2 the day on Sunday. Anyone who knows me knows I am an insomicac I only sleep thanks to a night pill of trazadone.
My pastor taught about Martha and how she acted when Jesus came to visit.  Martha was the oldest of her family she had many brothers and sisters one sister in particular named Mary. When Jesus came to visit Martha totally stressed out trying to make a wonderful feist to impress Jesus and His disciples.  Mary on the other hand went and sat down at Jesus' feet and stayed there all night!

When I first heard this story I thought "finally that lazy cousin of mine is gonna get the Bible talks about women sitting on there butts while I slave away to make this wonderful dinning for my ENTIRE family."
I'm sure we can all think of someone that just rubs you the wrong way everytime.  We are busy preparing and making sure everything is perfect, and they're sitting and enjoying conversation with your Grandfather.  Boy I was jealous and angry which turned to depression.  Why can't I be that together to enjoy those things.  I'm just going to try harder get up earlier go to bed later,  ride my children and my husband harder to keep up with their chores better.  All of this has just ended up with depression feels of inatiquitcy.  I am not good enough.  I've lost 50 pounds but thats not good enough I'm still fat I need to leave 50 more. I never measure up I don't deserve to share the same contenient of my husband and children.  They deserve better than I can ever give.  There is my cycle back in the depths of the darkness of depression.

More than anything I want to be like Mary.  Let me show you the story of Martha written buy Luke.

As Jesus and the Disciples continued on there way to Jerusalem, they came to a certian village where a woman named Martha welcomed them into her home.  Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord's feet, listening to what he taught.  But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing.  Martha came to Jesus and said "Lord, does it seem fai to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work?  Tell her to come and help me!" (boy I can see myself right in Martha's place)

But Jesus Looked at Martha and said "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details!  There is only one thing worth being concerned about.  Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken from her."

Ouch

So my questions to myself and to you (if there is any "you" out there) is:  What is important? 

My pastor told us today "God desires that we live simple lives.  Simple always doesn't mean easy, but it does mean that His plan for us is livable and will always glorify Him if done right.

In all things trust God.  Lord, please tech me to trust you and live a simple life.  Show how to reconize what is important and What is not.

until next time...